by P.W. Rooter
Special Correspondent

Ol' Mike Reed up at Ruston just can't handle retirement. Way back there years ago, he built hisself a sawmill up at Bernice, and when he got on up into 70s, he sold it to Louisiana Pacific.

When things got to goin' kinda slow, ol' LP said they was going' to shut 'er down at Bernice, and move on.

Well, Mike, what I hear tell, he's gone back and is jist abut done buyin' it back, and I reck'n he'll be makin' lumber there like before.

That's a piece 'a good news that's been hard to come by 'round here lately, with lots 'a mills shuttin' down, and loggin' gittin' to be 'bout as chancy as a poker game. Nice goin' Mike.

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I was sashayin' round back 'a one a' them country church houses one Sunday not too long ago, and I h'yeard somebody in there 'a teachin' a lesson. I lissened right careful, and I h'yeard that teacher 'a givin' the lesson like this: "The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children asked, "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma.

"Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines."

I don't reck'n I'd a' joined that church if I'd 'a been asked.