|P. W. for Pork
Commissioner of Louisiana
I been rootin' around politics since 'way back yonder when ol' Earl Long was handlin' the Pork in Louisiana, but this is th' first time I have actually been a candidunce my own self. I don't care what they say, it ain't as easy as it looks tryin' t' git a job without promisin' t' give away more'n y' got.
I ain't sure I'm h'yearin' right when them Campaign Managers starts runnin' on, talkin' about ol' Billy Bob is "Up in the poles," and ol' John Huey is "Down in the poles."
I been scourin' these Piney Woods fer a plumb lifetime. I've seen many a pole, and have seen 'em grow up from a li'l ol bitty saplin' up t' them long, straight trunks that them loggin' boys likes t' git their shears into 'cause they's money in 'em.
If you tell me Billy Bob is Up in the' Poles, it's fer sure in a part 'a th' woods I don't know, 'cause I g'yarantee I ain't never seen no politician out there where no real poles is at.
Whatever it is goin' on, I'm gonna fergit about poles. I don' know what poles has t' do with politics' cause all I ever seen about poles was, they's a whole lotta work t' gittin' em, and I always figgered politics was more about pork than poles. That's why I'm runnin' fer Pork Commissioner of Louisiana. Vote fer me, Y'hear!