P.W. Rooter fer Pork Commissioner!
Y'all h'yeard they was a whole lot 'a politickin' goin' on, I reck'n. Lots 'a folks is runnin' fer stuff. Some of 'em orta be runnin' fer dear life, from what I h'year, but I ain't gitin' in t' none 'a that.
I'm sure all 'a y'all will be glad t' know that I am a can'adate my own self, and y'all will want t' support me all y' can.
I am today offic'ly and formaly announcin' my Candiduncy fer the office 'a Pork Commissioner of Louisiana. I think I'm the best qualified person 'a any species a'tall to handle that job since I am, as you might say, made 'a pork, an' I know what it takes to git more pork, which is what ever'body is forever talkin' about as what they need out 'a th' gov'er'ment.
I have got a few id'ys about the kind 'a stuff that my constituants needs, and I aim t' git it fer 'em. Simple stuff like More Deer Corn right on the ground, not up in them hangin' bucket things that keeps us hawgs from gittin' our fair share. And other stuff, like plenty a' pine saplin's fer rootin' in, an' plenty 'a watermelons. I know y'all h'yeard them fellers in Baton Rouge talkin' about cuttin' a watermelon, an' I am t' find lots of 'em.
Y'all don't give yer vote away 'til you h'year from me. Remember: P.W. Rooter fer Pork Commissioner!