|Hog Dog Show
by P.W. Rooter
I walked by that ol' crooked tree where I scratched some signs fer he'pin' me remember stuff, and I noticed it's goin' to be time fer that Uncle Earl's Hog Dog Trials right soon down at Winnfield.
Me an' my cousins been grinnin' and thinkin' here lately 'bout how we figger on outsmartin' them ol' hog dogs this year. Some of 'em is gettin' wise to our hawg ways, and harder to fool, so we got to come up with some new tricks of our own.
But I'll tell you one thing - I h'yeard somethin' not long ago that shore made my bristles quiver. All this long while, we been puttin' up with them hawg hunters 'a trappin' us out in the Piney Woods and haulin' us in to make us rassle them crazy ol' hog dogs. We kinda' learnt how to put up with that, and put some 'a them dogs in the road back t' th' house, jist fer pure fun. Ever' once in awhile, a few of 'em will get lucky and us hawgs got to stand off an' let 'em bay.
What I h'yeard was that ol' Claude L. O'Bryan, the head dude 'a the big Hog Dog Show, been thinkin' about addin' a cookin' contest in a couple 'a years. If they's cookin' goin' on, that means folks would git to eat somethin' I reckon, and from what I seen at them Hog Dog shows, they's some fairly heavy hitters show up that ain't missed too many meals
But then I h'yeard that a cookin' show wern't exactly the best news us hawgs could 'a run across. What Claude L. is sayin' is, they's plannin' on doin' such stuff as ham, an' sausage, an' po'k chops, an' po'k chili at the Uncle Earl's year after this'n.
Wheeeeew-weeeeeee! I gotta be careful.