In a Pig's Eye!
by P.W. ROOTER
Special Correspondent
May 2001

I'm snoot rootin' mad about what happened at that last meetin' 'a them hawg hunters down at that Uncle Earl thing. All Fall and Winter I been snorted off till I was plum t'ard 'a hearin' about that "Bubba Dog," and that Georgy feller, Billy Long.

He and the real level-headed Piney Woods Rooters and Dugdemony Swamp hawgs had got us a round-robin deal that if any of us got rounded up and hauled off down to that bayin' we was gonna go hawg wild if we got in the same pen with that Bubba dog and Billy Long.

Us rooters had done an' made up our minds that ole Bubba dog wasn't gonna be no winner, and neither was that Billy Long, if we could he'p it. Ever' time I hear that Long name I 'member 'bout my great grandaddy talkin' about how ole Gov Earl and his sidekick Clem ridin' around on them big horses, actin; like big shots and terrorizin' the rooters back in the 40s an' 50s, with them ole glass eyed white Catahoula curs bayin' and bitin' the rooters 'til you couldn't even tell a real legal hawg mark. I think that Georgia Long may be a long-lost relative 'a the ole Gov.

Me and the rest 'a the rooters got our work cut out fer us between now and next March, when all that hollerin' and bayin' starts ag'in, because that Georgia Long done an' went through the back fence unbeknownst to us, and brought up that cute little female, Coshatta.

While the rooters was goin' hog wild against Bubba and any other dog the Georgia Long run in the bay pen on us, that cut little Coshatta (prob'ly guided by Miz Delores, put a whuppin' on us and trotted away fer the third straight year, hand-runnin' as the best of all them hunderds 'a dawgs that calls theirselves Hog Dogs!