I hung around where I could h'year th' radio perty close last month, list'nin' fer th' whissle to' blow when they was gon' have th' end a' th' world. I had my poke all made up, with' a few extry akerns an' a drink a' water in case th' trip Up Yonder run overtime. I ain't never seen no End 'a th' World b'fore, so I didn' hardly know whether t' stand in th' road fer th' bus t' pick us up, or jist get out a' town by Levitation. They's a whole lot 'a things that ain't s'posed t' happen 'til pigs fly, so I sort 'a figgered this might be th' time.
I waited around until plum dark, and hadn' felt no urge t' Rise Up, so I jist laid down and takened me a right smart long nap. It was near 'bout broad daylight when I woke up th' next day, and looked around, and seen purty much everthing still there, an' wadn' nobody seemed t' be missin'. That must a' meant nothin' much happened, or, wadn' nobody in my neighborhood that got Raptured.
They must 'a been purty much ever'body left b'hind, which must mean we all got 't git ready fer th' next load. An' that ain't s'posed t' happen fer another thousand years, so I'm jist keepin' my credentials as Pork Commissioner 'a Loo-z-ana up t' snuff and keep on doin' biznis like always.