We don't get no respect

Where you rek'n folks come up with th' id'y that "Bringin' Home th' Bacon" was good citizenship, right up there with God, an' Home, an' Wedded Motherhood? Them is all good Conse'vative Values, an' now us that has been th' real source a' bacon since ol' Columbus's kinfolks brought our ancesters over here in a bunch a' perty rickety boats--us that scrounged an' earned our own way fer most a' th' hist'ry a' this here now Country like good citizens--us that pervided ham an' bacon an' hides an' lard an' chitlin's fer them ol' Pioneers that settled up this here Piney Woods, why, us! that couldn' a' been done without durin' them hard ol' days, us! is bein' turned into criminals an' set up fer bein' shot on sight without no license, an' even at night, fer cryin' out loud, and them same folks is talkin' about plantin' good eatin' crops out in th' woods specially fer deers, that ain't never done nothin' t' earn no Conse'vative credentials 'cept stand like blamed fools in th' headlights a' cars and git splattered on th' highways ever' once in awhile. You tell me when you ever seen a hawg standin' dum'struck in the middle of a road waitin' fer a car t' splatter him. We way smarter 'n that.

I don't rek'n many folks stops t' think about it, but, whether you hap'n t' be a Democrat, a Republica, 'er a Tea Party, you orter remember that if they's pork, they was a hard workin' hawg involved. An' if you gon' Bring Home th' Bacon, it ain't gon' be available without a Piney Woods Rooter some wheres that gave up a lot t' make it available. Think about that when you out there at night mouthin' off an' shootin' at one a' my kinfolks.

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