Ree-cession

I rek'n y'all h'yeard 'bout th' Ree-cession that hit th' hawg bizness last month, when th' Uncle Earls big Hog Dog rasslin' match was called off on account a' derivitaves in th' credit dee-fault swaps that caused th' assets t' git tangled up in th' liabilities an' collapsed th' systemic systems that kept th' dawgs from gittin' hawg bit an' th' chairman a' th' board a' pork bellies couldn' git a stimulus package th'ough th' bureau a' livestock in time t' head off a outbreak a' civic aggervation. They was a panic when unemployment amongst th' hog and dog population started t' rise, and th' market fer trailer space shrunk up t' near 'bout nothin'. They was a glut a' corn on th' market, an' dawg feed started t' go stale on th' shelves a' stores clear out t' Junction City. They was nekkid concrete hawgs all over Winnfield standin' around in their birthday suits, lookin' pale an' lonesome without no decorations on their hams an' shoulders, wonderin' if anybody was gon' come around t' purty 'em up b'fore all them hawgdoggers come t' town ready t' party.

But most a' th' local hawgs found work when th' Double H Bay Pen opened up out at Calvin an' th'owed a e-mergency rasslin ' match that took up a lot a' th' slack. It wad'n no hawg O-lympics, but fer a stimulus package done in a right smart hurry, it took th' worst edger off 'a th' hawg an' dawg unemployment problem, an' I'm expectin' th' final report a' th' Congressional Budget Office t' agree, it ain't gon' add nothin' t' th' national debt.

Things is settlin' down, an' I'm goin' ahead an' file fer reelection as Pork Commissioner a' Loo-z-ana. I think th' pork economy is gon' do a whole lot better next year.

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