On the Way to "France"

I been runnin' and dodgin' alligaters an' muskeeters ever since I 'scaped from that Mardi Gra thing on th' Bayou Teche, tryin' my derndest t' find which 'a'way to go t' find France. I'm beginnin' t' think that news I h'yeard about wantin' hawgs t' root fer truffles in France was some kind 'a hoax, 'cause I ain't run into nobody yet t' gimme th' time a' day about France, or where it's at. I need th' job, but I'm wore out plumb t' my hocks a' lookin' fer it.

I kep' on headin' south, layin' low in th' daytime, travelin' by th' moonlight at night, figgerin' I'd git t' some sort 'a civilized place d'rectly. A few mornin's ago not long 'fore sunup, I commenced t' look fer a place t' lay up, an' found a right safe lookin' little clump 'a brush right next t' what looked like some kind 'a creek. T'ard as I was, I rolled over an' takened a little nap. It was already daylight when I woke up an' looked around. What I seen was a' right tough lookin' li'l ol' boat, pulled up b'hind a string 'a flat box lookin' things I hadn' never seen b'fore. I was s' curious about th' thing, I wadn't watchin' where I was walkin' an' next thing I knowed, I had slud off th' bank a' that pretty wide creek, headin' fer th' water. Jist about then, that boat roared right loud, an' pushed them flat boxes for'wd, an' when I was jist ready t' hit th' water, I fell, kersplat! right on top a' the floatin' box at the head a' th' pack.

When I got m' senses back, I was on top a' that box, next t' a trap door coverin' somethin' that smelt a whole lot like corn. I hunkered down b'hind a stack 'a ropes, wonderin' what t' do, when I h'yeard a feller jumpin' around back up t'wards th' boat, hollerin' t' somebody, "OK, Cap'n, le's move 'er out in th' channel. We gotta get this tow to th' France Road terminal in New Orleans by day after tomorrow mornin' an' I'm ready t' get unloaded and spend me a couple a' days around Bourbon Street!"

France Road! Why, I've stumbled into jist th' right place, I thought. In less'n two days, I'll be in France, and ready t' start rootin'! I found me a cool place outta sight, and settled down fer a nice quiet ride, jist as we passed a sign that said "Louisiana Intracoastal Waterway."

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